Monday, January 30, 2012

Time

Today God has revealed an important truth to me: I am a hoarder of time. I am selfish with my time, to the point that I don't spend any time with Him. Unless I have to, so I spend the obligatory amount of time reading a verse or so, or even a couple if I'm feeling generous. I would almost liken my time with God to a drive-thru window:  you go through because you're hungry and you need food fast, but you don't want to take the time to actually sit in the restaurant to eat.

It clearly says in Scripture "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." (Luke 12:48). I like how this is stated in the Message "Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities".  I always just kinda figured that meant money.  When you think about it, though, that goes for anything that you've been given, and for me that goes for time as well. I've been given loads of time, but it's always slipped like sand between my fingers, because I've never wanted to grasp what God's been trying to tell me: you expect time from me.  Having a relationship with God requires sacrifice of self, and sacrifice of the things that mean so much to us, but it's for our own good. I think often on something I heard a long time ago: what if I tried to have a relationship with my husband but only intended on spending 10 minutes or so with him a day? And what if during that time all I did was give him a quick run-down of my day, then asked him to do a few things around the house for me, and never got around to listening to him? If we spent time in our relationships like we tend to spend time with God, the relationship wouldn't last because we wouldn't be giving it the time or effort it needs to sustain it.

I always have what-ifs running through my mind, like what if I don't get the house clean? What if I don't work out? What if....times a thousand. I just allow my mind to be totally bullied by all the what-ifs. So much so that the peace and solice, mental calmness, the energy, the organization, the drive and the joy that I so desperately seek by keeping the house clean, organized, by body fit, my kids on schedule...all of the peace, etc eludes me time and time again. Time is the most precious thing to me because I feel I have too much to do. I'm giving God what is most precious to me because I trust Him to take care of me.

2 comments:

  1. Found your blog through Virginia...all of this is so encouraging and thought provoking. Thanks for sharing your heart!

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