Friday, February 17, 2012

Miss-eyelz

"Do not be afraid;... Yet do not turn aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. 21 And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. 22 For the LORD will not forsake his people, for his great name's sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you a people for himself." (1 Samuel 12:20). 

Last night I turned away from God and concentrated more on how I was feeling, which was sorry for myself. Sometimes I just get into these moods where I am my own worst enemy, and it seems like I can't get out. I heard a guest one time on the Today Show talking about women and how we are leading our daughters into the same lifestyle we live by constantly criticizing ourselves in front of them. The woman said, as if she were speaking to you and me and every other woman listening "Our eyes are missiles" (except that she was from somewhere in Europe and instead of missiles it came out sounding like miss-eyelz, so that how I say it to myself). Last night I just felt ugly and unattractive all over and...just blah. And blast it all, it doesn't help that I'm having major PMS, I dont know why PMS can't contribute to feeling good about myself, but it historically has not, and this time was no different! But it is true that not sometimes, or even most of the time, my eyes are miss-eyelz, razor-sharp and ready to cut to the quick, boring holes into the mirror with all the intensity and power they can muster. Really, I must say it doesn't make one feel so good about oneself! I think there is something I can change...

The power to change can only come from God, and I need to start remembering to ask Him when my "trigger" occurs, and everyone's trigger is different. I think one of mine is clothes. If my mind is already trotting down the path of "Heather-hating", then when I put my clothes on, I immediately feel bad. I need to remember that to "not be afraid; Yet do not turn aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. 21 And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. 22 For the LORD will not forsake his people, for his great name's sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you a people for himself.". 

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