A quick fix would be great, right? I wonder if I don't just want an easy life. If God would be willing to just fix everything that is wrong, then I would have no need for a relationship with Him. I would also have such an easy life. Can you imagine? No issues, no problems, no nothin? It sounds nice, but is it?
In Beth Moore's study "The Inheritance", she suggests that a life with a past (which would include everybody, since everybody has a past), even one filled with pain or failures or difficult things, but lived for Christ, can have a huge impact. God promises that He will work all these things for His glory (Romans 8:28). He can actually use my past (and I define that as everything up until now). Same thing with life experiences, which kind of overlaps with the past. Those experiences, like childhood, education, placed you've lived, and ethnicity are what gives you depth. Even though I haven't liked or appreciated some of my life experiences, and have tried to shove (not sweep, SHOVE) my past and my insecurities under the proverbial "rug", I really just need to ask Him to show His glory in my life and He will. A life with depth and experience could be such a blessing to other people. Think about it. YOU could be a blessing to someone else who is struggling.
I am struggling with finding my security in Him everyday, but I know that I know that I know He is using my battle with insecurity for good. I have given up some bad habits, like criticizing myself every time I look in the mirror (now it's just every other time;) ) And I've gotten a little better about not checking myself out in every window or mirror I pass. (I'm sorry, it's just the awful truth. I do it all the time, almost without thinking about it. My husband even said one time (as we were passing a mirror at the mall, which, in my defense, are all over the place!) "Did you look okay?" I did it so quick, I didn't think anyone else even noticed. I felt like a kid who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. EMBARRASSING!) Some things I'm not past, like I'm not past counting my calories down to the bite and writing them down in a food diary. I'm sure that's helpful for some people, but it's not necessarily a healthy thing for me. But I can't stand not knowing how much I've eaten, and it makes me feel more...hmm...maybe in control. I can't give up my workout for a single day. I still haven't fully accepted my body for how it is right now; I keep wishing all my old clothes still fit well. I understand, as much as I'd like for it to be, it can't be a quick fix. I'd learn nothing, and would probably return to old habits, since they tend to, as the say, "die hard".
I hope that bringing my own insecurities out into the open will help someone else deal with their own. I hope that someone is hearing that God loves you enough to take you, flaws and all, and make you beautiful. Not perfect, this side of heaven anyway, but a beautiful life filled with the One who defines beauty. It's when we lose ourselves that we actually find ourselves in Him.