I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured if the entire world was one big machine... I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. --Hugo Cabret, from the movie Hugo
An extra part.
Sometimes that's how I feel. Like I'm not sure exactly what my purpose is, or where my talents lie. It's easy for me to get sidetracked and start noticing other people's abilities and talents, and maybe even get a little jealous that they have a talent I wish I had. Like my nephew Gabe. He's an amazing piano player. He doesn't even have to have music sometimes. He has this ear for music that completely blows my mind, and a tiny part of me wants to have that ear for music, too. To be able to sit down like he does at the piano and just...play. It would be so delightful to be able to do that!
What I don't know about Gabe are the number of hours he spends practicing piano--daily. He has an extraordinary talent, but he also has to spend time sharpening his skills or his talent may go to waste.
I believe that we were all given special talents and abilities. It's just that sometimes, those talents and abilities get covered up by the stress and struggles that life presents. And sometimes, when the talent or ability does get uncovered, we think that it's just not as good as someone else's. Ever been there?
None of us are extra parts. All of us are here for a reason, and when we come to an understanding of who we are to God, we start to discover who He made us to be, and the wall we've carefully constructed around us for protection can slowly be taken down. It's not an easy process, nor is it a quick transformation.
At first, I thought that discovering who I am in Christ was a definite and finite amount of time--you know, something that I could look to at a certain point in the future, where I would then stand on the other side of my proverbial "fence" and look back at the old me. While I can see a difference between the old me and the me I look at in the mirror now (and no, I'm not just speaking about age), I am also understanding that the transformation that is taking place in me will last my entire life. And that's ok, probably even a good thing, because it means I am always growing and changing, finding new things out about myself.
As I grow and mature, I'm also discovering that the thick wall I built to protect myself was hiding some of my most valuable gifts and blessings, as well as what my purpose is. Now, I am praying for God to transform me into His likeness and show me what my purpose is...and I have faith that He will. As I grow in my faith and trust, I am asking Him to also transform those deep desires of my heart to reflect the person He made me to be, not the person I wish I was.
I may not find out my purpose right away, and that's ok. Pushing my own agenda doesn't work, and waiting aimlessly is a waste of time. Diving into the Word and asking for wisdom, grace and His will is where my transformation begins...