Monday, September 17, 2012

My Safety Net

The other night, I woke up with a start from a bizarre dream that felt so real, for a second I had to make myself believe that I was actually in my bed, and not caught in a tornado.

In my dream, I was with my family and we were walking around, but we weren't in our yard or near our house, it was somewhere totally unfamiliar, yet I felt like I had been there before. I reached up to put my hair in a pony tail, when the wind lifted it straight up, and, laughing, I told my daughter to check out my hair. But before she could look at me, the wind turned into a tornado and began to lift me up. I was screaming, but no one, including my family, could hear my screams and they didn't even see me spinning in this twister. It felt so real; I could feel myself spinning around. That's when I woke up with a start; my heart was beating out of my chest and I was sweating. Scary!

She'd be smart to run...

I have plenty of nightmares, although the one above doesn't really count as one to me. Sometimes, they are so scary and violent that I am scared to move when I wake up and I have to reach over just to make sure my husband is still there and that my dream was only that--a dream. His presence, even though he has no idea what's going on in my head, is a comfort to me. As long as I know he's there, then I start to feel calm and steady again.

Sometimes life feels like that tornado in my dream. I feel pulled in so many directions that sometimes I can't catch my breath. For some, I know it's not just being pulled in different directions, it's mentally battling the fear and upheaval that comes when we read the paper, watch the news, or experience the nightmare of a difficult, strenuous situation that seems like it will never get better. What are some of the things you are facing today? An abusive relationship? An illness? Are you watching someone you love dearly struggle? Sometimes, that nightmare doesn't seem like it will ever end. It's real. It's life. And it's scary.

David struggled with similar emotions as he ran from King Saul, who had a death sentence written for David's life. I can only imagine how scary that would be. He writes in Psalm 54 "Save me, O God, by your name; vindicate me by your might.2 Hear my prayer, O God; listen to the words of my mouth...Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me" (verses 1, 2, 4). (Also read Psalm 55 to get an idea of the fear and anguish he's going through).

When I am scared, all I have to do is reach out for God and He is there, ready to offer His steady hand to comfort me so I can feel calm and steady again. It's a daily thing, though, because I need that comfort daily (and sometimes by the minute). I don't think he'll zap me with confidence or security so I'll be done once and for all; then I wouldn't need Him and we wouldn't have a relationship. Just like I wouldn't want my husband to offer his comfort and support one night, and then the rest of the time expect that when I have a nightmare, I won't need him.

God is there anytime I need Him, though, and that's the part that I like the most. Whenever I need a pick-me-up, He's available and at the ready. I like that about Him; that He is so constant and reliable, my safety net when the rest of the world feels like it's falling out from underneath me.

When I am afraid,
I put my trust in you.
4 In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?
Psalm 56:3,4

1 comment:

  1. Love this! Great reminder of God's constant presence.