A friend was telling me about a movie she watched called Taken. The basics are that this guy who has worked for the government allows his teenage daughter to go to Europe with a friend, and they get kidnapped (or taken, hence the title of the movie). I won't tell you the rest, just in case you want to watch it, but I can assure you of one thing: from the little I heard, that movie would scare the tar out of me. I have similar reactions when I read the paper or watch the news, or hear of an Amber Alert. It's all very scary and too real.
My friend's take, and she was of course exaggerating to a certain degree, was that 1) she was never letting her children go to Europe by themselves and 2) she was never letting them out of her sight. I whole-heartedly agreed. How else would they possibly be safe if I wasn't there to protect them?
But, I've written about this before, and honestly, who am I kidding? Do I think that I can protect the ones that are close to me from every bad thing that happens? I'm not a superhero, and I don't have special powers. Part of me wants them to be tough so they can handle what the world throws at them, and the other part wants to put them in a protective bubble. Maybe forever.
Thinking about this just made it that much more obvious how much I need Someone who can handle my fear and my angst, and who I can also trust to take care of me and the ones I love. The more I thought about always being around to protect the ones I love, the more the fear and the pressure built up inside. It's too much for anyone to handle. I've got to let it go or risk letting the pressure build up to dangerous levels. But I have a hard time letting go. I know God is good, but...can I really trust Him with the things that are the most important to me?
Jack woke up last night with a bad dream, and was too scared to go back to sleep in his room. As he was lying beside me, I knew I was supposed to be his comforter, his protector, yet I couldn't protect him from the fear he was feeling. I wanted to say some comforting words about how he can trust in God when he's scared, but I couldn't find the words. How could I explain to him how to trust in a God I'm not so sure I trust entirely myself?
Doubt is the first weapon in an arsenal pointed right at me. If I can be convinced to doubt God's goodness, and to even begin to wonder if He can be trusted, then my relationship with Him is broken.
My first line of defense is to recognize my feelings and pray about them. Yes, I feel fear, yes, I feel doubt, yes, I wonder if He is as trustworthy as He says He is. Then, I make the choice to trust Him anyway, despite the fact that I am wavering and unsure. It's not the first time He's dealt with it, and it won't be the last. But He is merciful and full of grace, and He's not going to just leave me hanging. Lastly, I need to dive into His Word with a passion. The Bible is the complete truth, and by recognizing that, I'm able to balance my fear and my doubt with His Words of Truth and Life.
By building on the solid rock foundation of truth, I won't be taken by the waves of uncertainty and doubt that are sure to come as life happens.