Thursday, November 1, 2012

From A to Z

I have several grandiose ideas for my house I'd like to accomplish. Like: I'm going to paint the entire basement, I'm going to paint the basement kitchenette cabinets, I'm going to hang shelves in my daughter's room and in the basement, I'm going to hang gallery walls in the living room, and I'm going to turn the playroom into a music room. Then, I look at the project as a whole and I am immediately overwhelmed. Before long, I get distracted by the more pressing issues of running a household, like dirty dishes, dirty laundry, dirty floors, dirty bathrooms...and before I know it, my projects are just a memory. I'll never get started on them unless I'm willing to do the work to complete them, but sometimes it's so overwhelming, and I know the work won't be easy, and worst of all, it will take time to complete the things I want done, so I stop before I even have the chance to get started. And then that little feeling called defeat starts to sneak in there, and I know that I don't have what it takes to get what I want done. I think I've gotten worse as I've gotten older, too, because I feel like any project that takes time and effort may not be the project for me.

The playroom. I can't even begin to think about tackling this right now...or ever...
So it is with change in my life as well.

I know there are things about myself that need to change, and that I'd be better off if I did change. But when I look at where I am now compared to where I want to be, I immediately get overwhelmed. Half the time I don't even know how I'm supposed to get from point A to point Z, and there are too many letter in the in between for me to even consider going there. So, I continue to stay stuck. I know it's going to take lots of work, even more time, and a commitment to change, and most of the time,  so it's more comfortable to stay right where I am. Not better off, mind you. And anyways, all those pressing issues that life presents often get me so sidetracked that I can't concentrate on change even if I wanted to. And I begin to feel defeated.

God doesn't ask me to come up with a plan. He only asks that I depend on Him for my steps (the steps of a man are established by the Lord, Psalm 37:23) and that I trust Him. He has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11), and He is asking that I give my anxious, overwhelmed heart to Him so that He can do His work in my life. If I allow His work in my life, then I will be transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2), and I won't have to try so hard to even get from point A to point B. He's there to guide me with His light (Psalm 119:105) so that my paths stay straight (Proverbs 3:6).

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