Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Queen of the World!

It's always something, isn't it?

First, it's the duvet cover. Then it's the gingerbread cookies.

I'll tell you something, if people don't start listening to me, I'm going to have one royal fit...

I sweetly suggested to my husband that he use my method for using the blankets on our bed at night. Why, pray tell, should he use my method? Well, for starters, because it works for me. We have a duvet cover (which I love) on our bed, and yes, of course it's filled with the fluffiest down alternative (real down makes me sneeze) blanket I could find. It just also happens to be the hottest down alternative blanket I could have possibly chosen for our bed. And for two people who don't like to sleep when it's hot, it's not really the best choice. But my husband knows me well enough to know that often times this girl chooses form over function, much to the dismay of the people who appreciate function. (Just as an aside, I used to hide the alarm clock under the bed or behind a plant on the bedside table because I couldn't find a suitable way to display it. I cannot justify my actions, since having an alarm clock that you cannot actually see isn't very beneficial.) So, my solution is to only cover my feet and lower legs with the blanket so I don't get too hot. It actually works pretty well, and the added bonus is that the covers don't get too messed up so that making the bed in the morning is not so bad. 

He, on the other hand, completely folds said blankets over on my side so that not only are they not touching him, but they are doubled up on me. This does not make me especially happy. This does not stop him.


I think it's because he's not doing it my way.

I'm sorry to have to admit that. But it's the cold, hard truth.

It happened again while we were baking gingerbread cookies. This time it wasn't my husband who was offended by my bossy-ness, but my daughter, who isn't afraid to tell her mother to step off. (No, it's not always respectful. Yes, we are addressing this lack of respect. No, it doesn't always stop her.)


{Deep sigh.}

The thing is, I like to be in control. I like to do things my way. I think everyone should do things my way, and when they don't, I tend to get a little...miffed. {ahem}

Oh, if only the world did things my way, then...

Then what? I don't suppose I'm the only one out there who has the audacity to presume that the world would be a better place if people would only do things my way...(maybe I am, and in that case, it would make me feel better if no one reading this pointed that out to me).

Okay, so I admit it. I have a control problem. I think at the center of this little issue of mine is an issue with perfectionism and self-centerness. When I take the time to step out of myself and see the world from another point of view, then I'm able to understand that my perspective isn't the only one that is, nor is it the only one that counts.

Even more than that, though, I'm able to see that the relationship I have and can be building is much more important than getting my way. When I'm in the moment, I can't see that as clearly...but with a little lot of prayer and recognizing my own selfish habits, I am able to start focusing on the relationship rather than the habits of the other person. I love my husband. I do want him to be comfortable at night and get a good night's rest. I love my daughter, and want her to learn how to read a recipe and bake. And I want them to love me and enjoy spending time with me. I want us to enjoy spending time together. I don't want to be seen as someone who is constantly telling other people what to do and how to do it.

The Queen is officially resigning from her Control-It-All Duties. Effective tomorrow today :)

Photo: Baking gingerbread men :)


  1. {Ahem} Lovely photo, loved the post... I'm a sort of a recovering "control freak" Thanks for your honesty and humor..loved it!
    (Found you on FMF)

    1. Glad someone else can relate :) Thanks for stopping by!!

  2. Heather - I can't thank you enough!! I just read Karen Ehman's From Chaos to Calm Challenge. As I read it, I knew God was telling me to let go of control....but I kept telling Him that I WANT to, but I can't....it's not just Christmas decisions, which would hard enough, but we're in the midst of making some major decisions about my teenage son, his out of control behavior and his upcoming criminal charges. Let this go....let my husband make these crucial decisions when I don't even feel like my husband's qualified to decide ANYTHING without my guidance (can we say control freak here?)...let him make the Christmas plans and spend it in Las Vegas - the most materialistic and least Christ-centered place in the country...let him "disappoint" MY (ours,of course)children with one gift each, when they're used to getting multiple gifts picked out perfectly to match their list, our small budget, and what their siblings are receiving??? "I mean, really, God, this sounds like a great idea, but You Can't possibly mean NOW - not with all this going on....can You?" And then I somehow (Godhow) I stumbled on this blog while hearing "...you will have all you need, if you just believe..." from Believe on Pandora and I realize that YES, God means now, and that YES, I can do it. I just (just?) need to step out and trust Him. Wow!! A huge relief off my shoulders, but I'll admit, I still have some apprehension about my ability to let go and trust. But...here it goes, God, I'm turning the decisions over to others.... Thank you, Heather, for getting me to this point!! I'll certainly take any prayers - especially for learning not resent my husband (notice I didn't use the term DH) more than I already do....
    In His love,

  3. Hi Kari...wow! Thanks for your openess. Being a control freak isn't as hard to admit as it is to change, but we all can--with God's help! I will certainly say a prayer for you and your family, and if you end up in Vegas-enjoy! I've been there, and although there are parts of it that aren't what I'd choose, the other parts are worth visiting :)