Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Silver Linings

Normally Monday really takes me by surprise (I don't know why, after all, it comes every week, right after Sunday and before Tuesday, but whatever). I never get everything accomplished that I want to and then Tuesday arrives, making fun of me because I'm working double-time trying to get it all done.

I thought I'd write today about a quote I got from the movie Silver Linings Playbook. (and if you're wondering, yes, I just watched this. We never watch movies when they come out in the theatre, and even though we have a family movie night every week, Silver Linings Playbook is hardly a family-friendly movie, so I'm a bit behind on all the good movies that are out. I haven't even seen the newest James Bond, which is dreadful.) However, I couldn't get much out of the quotes without bleeping out half the words (they really do like a certain word in that movie), so I said forget it. I'm offering no words of wisdom today, no insight into where I think the silver lining really lies or what it means. No. Today, I turned on my computer and have just been staring at it, hoping that perhaps it will come up with a better post than I will today. Mind you, I have other things I could be doing, like studying for my AFAA certification (!) or cleaning the house, but instead I'm sitting here, writing my thoughts about nothing to you.

Which reminds me of The Nothing in the movie The NeverEnding Story (which was one of my favorites, but I had a hard time getting past the part where Atreyu's horse dies--I cried every single time. It's such a dramatic scene, with the horse sinking in the mud and all, and they really draw it out. Plus, horses were and are my all-time favorite animal, and I always thought I'd live on a farm and have horses--and ride bareback with my long hair flowing behind me, of course. I'd probably cry now if I watched it.). The Nothing is a void of darkness that consumes everything, and it's coming for Fantasia (I wonder if the singer Fantasia is named after the land of Fantasia??). My kids tried to watch the movie, but The Nothing and the Gmork (that wolf-beast with the crazy eyes) scared them, and we haven't gotten it out since. I think the writers of The NeverEnding Story may have been on to something, though, because if anyone has ever experienced depression or anxiety, it kindof feels like a void of darkness that will consume you.

Nope, still don't like him.

I soooo wanted that horse.

Thinking back on a time when depression ruled my life makes me sad, and I need to remember to thank God every day, because it's only by His mercy, peace and grace that I'm able to sit here and write about my depression in the past tense. Sometimes I ask why me? because I really never sat down and asked Him for help; my plea to Him came kindof came after the fact. I didn't really even realize I was depressed until a few years into feeling sad and blah all the time. All. The. Time. Now I can look back and see I was in a total fog, and He brought me through it.

And now I can sit here and blog about my past experiences, and maybe there is someone out there who is feeling just the way I did (okay, sometimes still do, but I'm a work in progress)--sad, insecure, and not sure which way to turn.

I can relate. And I can pray for you. You're definitely not alone.

God can bring good from not-so-great circumstances (Romans 8:28), and I'm learning to trust His promises that He will do just that.

There's my silver lining.

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