Thursday, May 23, 2013

Tripped Up

I really wish today was still Wednesday and I could share yet another story on my Midweek Confessions post, because here is what happened to me just this very morning:

It was a normal morning, got up, showered, got dressed, then went to wake up the babies. When AB opened her eyes (finally! I was beginning to think we were going to miss the bus), she said "Mom, I think you have a tag sticking out of your pants...wait, I think they are on wrong-side outwards." Now, being an adult and figuring I know how to dress myself by now (however, I'm not always the most observant person in the world, but still), I say no way, no how are my pants on wrong-side outwards. I even looked down at them. No, she says, go look at your behind in the mirror, mom, I'm sure they are on wrong-side outwards. So, I oblige (and I'm glad I did), and lo and behold my bleeping pants were on wrong-side outwards. WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?? Granted, they were workout pants and easy (I guess) to put on wrong-side outwards. If she hadn't told me, it is entirely likely that I would have gone around all day long with my pants on wrong-side outwards. I mean, honestly. Pull yourself together, woman!

In other news, I have one fingernail that is painted (a lovely shade of Blackest Red), and it will probably stay that way until it starts to chip and I finally redo the whole manicure.  AND I got a voice mail on my cell from a different area code than mine saying that I was getting a summons and to have two forms of ID ready. What? Clearly a wrong number, but still. Very odd.

{Sigh} I'm a mess today.

I was thinking back over a conversation I had while I was visiting a friend of mine. We were sitting out on her front porch, enjoying the sun and the breeze and chatting about nothing. I love visits like that. Unhurried, relaxed, calm. While we were talking, I commented on my legs. They are a source of much consternation for me, because they are pale, pale, pale (sunless tanner is my friend, see my Midweek Confession on using self tanner here), plus I had some unsightly veins that I had operated on, only to cause more unsightly veins to appear, plus the ones I had to look worse AND I have tiny scars from the surgery. Nice. I won't be going back to that doctor. But I digress. Anyhow, I just think my legs are ugly and they are enough to make me want to hide my head and moan like Kramer on Seinfeld, "Look away. I'm hideous."

When I start feeling like that, I realize too late that I have lost my focus on God. Searching for security in this world is futile, resulting in anxiety and restlessness. Instead, I need to remember to come to Him with all my needs. When I come to Him, little by little I learn to trust Him with my whole being, and then nothing can separate me from His peace. It's true that I've prayed for Him to miraculously make me tan (wouldn't that be cool), and to also heal these hideous veins, but I've learned that problems (small or big) are a part of life, and it's unrealistic to strive for a life free of them. Instead, I can ask Him to equip me for whatever difficulties I will face on any day. Remembering that He is on my side allows everything to slide back into focus and instead of constantly fighting the inevitable, I can trust Him. Sarah Young in her devotional Jesus Calling reminds me that when I remember to turn my focus to Him, the problem will fade in significance, and it loses it's power to trip me up.

Nothing is too much for Him to handle, and that's good news for a girl who often gets tripped up on small issues (like veins and incomplete manicures).

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