Monday, September 23, 2013

Retail Therapy

On Saturday, I had to run out to drop my son off near the mall. That lucky duck was going to go sit in the rain and watch a college football game, while this poor girl had to stay home in the warm, dry house and find something useful to amuse herself.  Who, I ask you seriously, had the better deal? I'm thinking ME, as I don't love football. Or cold metal bleachers. Or sitting in the rain on purpose. Or drunk people who pee in the middle of the stands. (That's another story for another day, but it's no lie.). After I dropped him, I decided to run into TJ Maxx for "just a few minutes" so I could "look around". Sometimes this is a successful plan. Today it was not and I came home with a new lamp and this guy :

My husband was grievously offended by the "huge horse head" in our living room, describing it as "tacky", and implying that it was a tasteless choice in living room decor.

Retail therapy is good for me but not my pocketbook.

As I was leaving the store, I ran into a girl that I worked with like 11 years ago (I honestly didn't believe it had been that long, but the numbers don't lie like I do). We said our heys! and how are yous! and my, you haven't changed a bit!, but I felt like I had to apologize for my appearance because I seriously had rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth and gotten dressed. I hadn't even washed my face, which is almost a cardinal sin. And if I had just stuck with the original plan of "just looking around" for a "few minutes", then I wouldn't have had to show my face. I mean, how many people want to see someone that they haven't seen in years only to show them them that no, I do not care what I look like when I run into TJ Maxx. I wear ripped up jeans and tee shirts that might have shrunk in the dryer so I have to wear a tank top underneath or it'll be inappropriate and flip flops and I don't brush my hair. And then, while I was talking to my friend, another friend from my aerobics classes walked out, looking quite striking all made up, while I look like I do every other time I see her--like I just came from the gym, exception being I wasn't all sweaty, just maybe a little odorific because I hadn't showered yet (this is why Bath and Body created body spray, FYI). So then I felt like I had to excuse my appearance again, which she quickly dismissed as being silly.

Beauty is not in the face;
beauty is a light in the heart.
{Kahlil Gibran}

Had I known that TJ Maxx would be the place to be on Saturday morning, then maybe I would have at least washed my face and put on some lip gloss.

As I drove home, I rehashed the conversations in my mind. Why did I feel the need to apologize for my appearance? You apologize for saying something nasty, for making a mistake, for misbehaving, for being rude. For not having washed my face? No need. I just needed to own it. I am wearing ripped jeans. I own that. I work it. I am not wearing makeup today. Own it. Let the personality shine through, enjoy the conversation, have fun, and let it go. Confidence is beautiful. Because in the end, it's all about the joy you exuded, the kindness you showed and how you treated the person you had an interaction with, not how you looked.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
the passion that she knows.
{Audrey Hepburn}

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