Thursday, November 14, 2013

The It-Factor

I was watching KUWTK (for those of you not in the know, that's short for Keeping Up With the Kardashians, which I've already admitted publicly that a) I watch religiously and b) I love Kim K. Don't judge) on E! when I saw scrolling across the bottom of the screen (all the up-to-the-minute celebrity gossip news. Side bar: I was listening to the radio the other day when the DJ came on and baited me with one of those lines like "Find out what this celebrity said and why--next" and for whatever reason I really wanted to find out what that particular celebrity had said and definitely wanted to know why--I don't even remember what it was about--but right when the guy was supposed to reveal this big news, my husband turned the car off! Just turned it off like he didn't give a rat's behind what this big news was, and I protested, like 'Um, hey!! I wanted to hear that news!!'--and my daughter, who had been sitting there the whole time repeated what I said, I guess she was curious, too--to which he replied 'That IS NOT NEWS, Heather. That's gossip.' And then I was a little embarrassed. A little. But I wish I could remember who he was talking about so I could look it up.) this news (or gossip, whichever you prefer):

Hairstylist Chris McMillian (you do know who that is, right?)
reveals picture of Jennifer Aniston's new bob
And luckily I had my phone right next to me so I could immediately look up Jennifer Aniston's new cut. Only because she has forever been my hair icon, not because I was immediately looking up celebrity gossip. But she's got that it-factor, that certian je ne sais pas that I don't, but I want to copy. So you won't have to go to all the effort of looking it up yourself, here you go:
google images
In middle school, I did many different things with my hair in an effort to be very cool. I had the perm, the bob, the short (that was part of my cool hip-hop phase, though), the long, the teased bangs. I felt like that if I had cool hair and cool clothes (which I didn't, just so you know, because my mother would not buy me Guess Jeans, and my whole life was ov-er) then maybe, just maybe, I could feel cool on the inside. The problem was, no matter how many cool clothes I had or didn't have, not matter how many perms I got and no matter how much make-up I wore, I never felt cool. I felt empty. And that's something that Guess Jeans could never have fixed (although I probably would have liked to try).
Part of the short-hair, hip-hop phase
The beginning of being very cool
I thought I was kindof over all that cool factor, the trying to fit it with the crowd, the pining after Guess Jeans, until I found myself stalking 'Jennifer Ansiton new bob' pictures online. And I thought about how most of the adults I know and talk to and see are just as insecure today as they were when they were in middle school. Our bodies grow and mature, reaching adulthood, yet our minds are still 15 years old and awkward. Which is maybe why I still hear adults telling 'cool' stories about how drunk they got in college 15 years ago (or last night--either way, not cool)? If we were all really okay with ourselves, just being who we really are, would we try so hard to be so cool? Maybe it's just me, and I'm still stuck in a place all by myself, but it seems like many of us are still trying to cover the insecurities we feel with a heavy blanket of hip confidence.
Obviously rollers are part of the it-factor
Ok, so here we go: I almost didn't share this picture but decided it was too funny not to. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE HAIR IN THIS PICTURE. And whoever gave me this haircut should have their licence revoked.
I've searched for confidence in different places: my appearance, my possessions, my kids, my husband, my friends, my church. But none of those things are able to give what I need. Appearance, well, it changes. Possessions are fleeting, the church is just a building, and my kids, my husband and my friends, they're human. They don't need the pressure of filling me up. It's too much to put on others, and people are destined to disappoint at some point. But what I did find was that God is able and willing to fill my heart to overflowing, giving me confidence and security that doesn't have to come from something as temporary as a number on a scale or a perm in my hair.
Clearly, you need sunglasses to be hip.
Or Guess Jeans.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
{lamentations 3:22-24}

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