Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I Do Not Drink Coffee

I should have known better.

If you saw me out today and you thought "Poor thing, she looks tired", but decided against telling me as much, God bless you. Just as an aside, many times people actually do say things such as "You look tired", but is that really what you mean? Or do you mean "Honey, you look like crap. Bless your heart."? Because even though I can acknowledge that yes, indeed, I do look tired, it does not help my psyche to be told.

Anyways, yesterday, I was also feeling tired. Lately, this is a feeling that will not go away. I'm blaming it on the season of attempting to go to bed, only to realize that you've forgotten one of three things: a) to move the elf, b) to fill the advent calendar with some sort of tasty treat (or anything at all), or c) to grab your phone off the kitchen counter because let's be honest. The thing's like a security blanket, and we must have it within reaching distance at all times. Even while we're sleeping. And besides, my alarm clock is on my phone. I have to have it near me.

So when I got up yesterday morning, I decided it was a coffee kind of morning. Important note: I do not drink coffee. Rather, I save the caffeine-induced hyper-activity for days where I'm feeling like a sloth. Like yesterday. By the way, unless it is filled with all sorts of creamer and sugar and flavor (those mini moos are quite delectable), that stuff is horrid. Like swallowing hot liquid mud mixed with bitter root of something else I don't like. But since all I had was some Truvia and unsweetened almond milk, I had to go with it. And after 7 packs of Truvia and enough almond milk to turn it a lighter shade of pale, it wasn't half bad.

After downing half the mug, I was singing coffee's praises yesterday, just like the Newsboys song, aptly named Just Need CoffeeI love this stuff!! They should bottle it up and sell it! I had energy galore, I could think without drifting off into space...yes! I should drink coffee more often! But I don't, because I know. I know the secret of coffee. The more you drink, the more you need. And I'm not drinking any more than I have to. That stuff is potent. So I save it for when I really need it.

Is it merely perception or reality when you feel you have so much energy that you can do not one but two full-on cardio workouts? And run, not walk up every set of steps you encounter. And clean and organize and tidy and wash this some sort of miracle drink? Because I got more done yesterday than I typically do in an entire week.

I'm totally drinking coffee every single day!

google images

But then I wasn't tired last night. AT ALL. And I stayed up looking at Elf on the Shelf ideas on Pinterest (you can never have too many of those)--ours is swinging on a homemade swing today--and when I finally laid my head down on my pillow, I couldn't turn my mind off. It kept running and running and running, thinking of all things random and arbitrary.

Heather Duncan Richardson's photo.

I think I should paint the keeping room...white! Yes, white. But, I'd need a white couch. And Jon Dear doesn't want an entirely white house. Why doesn't he like white?...Did the elf fall? Should I check on him?...I should sell my oval mirror and put the square one up in the bathroom...I wonder if my sister is up...No, I should paint the keeping room gray!! Because I'm so into gray right now...I love gray...Did I make my playlist for class? I'll have to do that in the morning...Wouldn't it be so cool to meet Beth Moore? Or Kim Kardashian, but not Kanye, I don't like him so much...I cannot believe I'm not asleep yet...

And on and on and on.

I should have known that the coffee I drank at 9 AM would still be affecting my brain at 11 PM.

Is that even possible?

I also should have know that I would feel like a total zombie this morning when I woke up. Darn coffee. This is how it draws you into it's web. Drink it one time and you're HOOKED.

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