Monday, March 3, 2014

Road Rage

I'm not a perfect driver. I'm actually a little on the aggressive assertive side,* but it's only because I'm impatient with slow people who hog the left lane like it's the last night of their life and they are going to live it up over there--at 25 MPH.
*I know aggressive drivers, and I ain't one of'em. Red Chevy and Black Mustang, I'm looking at you. You know who you are.

I came across one such driver on my way home from the mall a few weeks ago. Mr. Silver Honda Pilot was lolly-gagging in the left lane, right next to an 18-wheeler in the middle and a tiny red car on the right. This bugs me beyond words, when people cannot seem to make themselves go faster than the huge truck carries who-knows-how-many-tons of oil. They were all going between 50 and 55, which, by the way, is the posted speed limit, so they weren't necessarily doing anything wrong. Besides being totally annoying. (Truck is excluded from the annoying equation. This time.)

So I came up behind Silver Honda, but didn't tailgate, just got close enough to send the message that hey, it'd be great if you'd move on over. Or speed up.

To which he responded with nothing. No speed up. No get over. Just traveling along about 5 miles under the speed limit.


Here's how I see it. I would like to drive faster than you. This means nothing. It does not indicate that you are stupid or ignorant or a bad driver.* If I choose to go at a faster speed than you, then it is my own arrogance that will perhaps get me a ticket once I pass you, and you are free to laugh, but not point, as you pass me by going your chosen speed. Which clearly is the right choice. So all I need you to do is just get over. Just move right on over and allow me to pass you, then you can reclaim your position in the left lane and go under the speed limit and wait for the next person to ask you to politely move on over before they become obnoxious tailgaters who flash their lights and blow their horns. (For the record, I do not do this.)
*Most of the time.

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But no. Drivers just looooooooove that left lane. Hang on to it for dear life. As did Silver Honda. Just when I thought about cursing him (in my head), however, he suddenly moved over and I thought he had finally seen me in his rearview. Thank you!

But Mr. Silver Honda Pilot had another game in mind as he swerved back out into the left lane directly behind me. Tailgater becomes tailgatee.* Suddenly, Silver Honda was going 15 miles over  the posted 55MPH speed limit as he stayed on my tail with every lane change, every speed up, every slow down.
*Totally wasn't tailgating. I would know, I was there.

REALLY, Honda Pilot? Really?

Thankfully, he didn't follow me as I got in the lane for my exit, but he did grace me with one last impression with his single finger salute.


Old men should know better.

1. Do not tailgate. It's annoying. (not me, him.)
2. Stay away from people who show any signs of road rage.
3. Just go the speed limit and avoid these problems altogether.
4. But please, for the love of all that is good in the world, stay out of the left lane.

Lovely and Loyal Readers-

As the time I have devoted to writing becomes less, I've decided to cut back on writing posts from 3-4 days per week to around 2. Please keep reading and responding, as I love to hear your feedback!

Thanks for reading!!


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