Tuesday, April 29, 2014

I am mary magdalene

After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with Him, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out of; Joanna, the wife of Chuza, the manager of Herod's household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.
{luke 8:1-3}

I don't know much about Scripture, or the study of it, or really what some of it is supposed to mean (Revelation????). So when people talk about Mary Magdalene, famed follower of Christ and one of the first people to realize that His tomb was empty (Matthew 28), my eyes kind of glaze over and my mind goes blank. What do I really know about her anyway, and why should I know anything about her at all?

From what I understand, the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) are all first-hand accounts of what they saw and experienced with Christ. Each of them mentions Mary Magdalene, so I figure she must be a fairly important character, especially when talk of Jesus' Resurrection comes up (Easter happens to be a popular time to discuss this subject, as the Easter Bunny isn't the reason that we celebrate the holiday).

So as I was sitting in church, listening to an Easter message that I felt like I'd already heard a thousand times in one form or another, I found myself looking out the window and daydreaming about the dinner I still needed to prepare.

Until one small phrase caught my attention.

"He gave Mary Magdalene her life back."

It made me stop and think really hard. It's recorded that Mary Magdalene "had" seven demons, but I have never really identified with such a concept and have often dismissed it as something that only happened in Bible times.
Don't get too close.
It's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide.
It's where my demons hide.
{demons, imagine dragons}

Maybe I just don't recognize demons when they appear.

Such a comforting topic for a rainy Tuesday, yes?

I thought back to my life right around the time my mom died, and the years before and after that time. Depression, anxiety, and control issues ruled my life. I was shocked and bitter and resentful and enraged with the world. It definitely wasn't what I had planned for. A drug cocktail of Wellbutrin, Zoloft and Concerta could mask the symptoms, but there was still a gnawing black hole growing at the center of my soul.

My very own demons.

I've known about Jesus my whole life.

But when I found Him. When I found Him. When I reached up and grasped the Hand that had always been extended toward me. Then.

He gave me my life back.

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