Monday, April 7, 2014

Talk Dirty to Me

"Hey, Mom, can I download this song?"

I hate these conversations, because they usually end up with me saying no and my daughter getting frustrated over my perceived "over-protectiveness".

This time was no different.

As I looked over the lyrics to Jason Derulo's Talk Dirty, a song she has undoubtedly heard on the radio and on Pandora, I looked in horror at my daughter, knowing that her ears have already heard these disrespectful and thoughtless lyrics.

"What?" she asked. "Did you see the word p*n*s?"

Which lead to a conversation about some of the different words for a man's {ahem}...which she already knew, due to many a playground conversation, it would seem. 

And yet again, the fact that I am ill-equipped to be a good mother was glaringly obvious.

"Mom, if you're going to live in the 21rst century, you're going to have to hear these words."

Thank you, O Wise One. I am aware of some of the things I will be subjected to in, as you say, the 21rst century, even though I don't ever remember having discussions on the playground over the various monikers for the name of a man's appendage, or hearing a song that directly talks about oral sex. (Which, as an aside, I really didn't want to go over with her.) However, as I explained to her, I make choices. And my choices involve choosing my words and conversations carefully and surrounding myself with people who do not choose to speak in a disrespectful manner, a la Jason Derulo.

I get it. It's a catchy song. I understand why she wants to download it. And it would be so easy to just say yes and make her happy so we could move on.

There are many different definitions of what makes a "good" mom. I'm positive that what makes me think I'm a good parent is different than what makes you think you're a good parent, and that's okay. We learn from each other.

The one thing missing from my aforementioned "good mom" equation is God. I can will myself to be a good mom every single day of my life, but I'm woefully ill-equipped when it comes to motherhood. And wife-hood. And every other aspect of life, actually. I don't often know what to do, which path to take, how to deal with questions like "hey, mom, can I download this song?" because I know she knows that I actually like that song, too, disrespectful lyrics and all. (I don't actually like the lyrics, FYI, but have found that I'm pretty good at overlooking and ignoring the things I don't like in favor of the things I do, even when it's potentially destructive.)

Being a "good mom" to me means being in constant prayer with God, asking Him for wisdom and understanding and direction. I believe that when we ask and believe, He will equip us with what we need.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God,
who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to you.
James 1:5

Without Him, I'm ill-equipped, usually tempted and willing to take the easy route rather than the right one. But with Him, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

"Equipped Mom" title included.

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