Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Give me a revelation

It's not everyday that a revelation comes.

Give me a revelation
Show what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way
And I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without you
{revelation, third day}

But as I was sitting in church on Sunday, the words of the pastor at my sister's church hit me in a powerful way. And they were so simple.

Sometimes I've been confused about all this talk about paths. You know, like God's path, my path, the path of life, the narrow path, the wide path, the path less traveled. And I find myself asking:

"Which path should I take?"

And not only do I ask, but I stress about it. The path. Which path? This path? That one? The one I don't know about but should be taking anyway?

I've been known to look at God and ask why in the world He made this so complicated. It seems like a daunting task, all this figuring out of paths and such.

All I want to do is make sure I take the right one.

I was recently asked to speak to a group of women at my church. Now understand two things about me:
1) Public speaking makes me very, very scared, like the few minutes right before getting on a roller coaster when, even though I've emptied my bladder sufficiently, I suddenly have to pee again. Like really bad.

That kind of scared.

2)  I am really excited about this opportunity.

I know, it weird, right? That I would be so excited about something that scares me.

When I got the email, I didn't respond right away, just so I could think about it some more. But in my mind, I was already planning my outfit (heels? or flats? this is where my mind goes when I'm stressed. To the shoe store.) and I already knew that my answer would be yes. But then my mind started racing with thoughts. Should I? Is this the right path? Can I do it? Should I do it? Is this what God wants me to do? How will I know? What should I do? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, GOD??

And with every question, my heart rate went up another 10 beats.

I've heard that God is intimately involved in the details of our lives. I think that's probably right, even though sometimes it feels like I'm all out on a limb with no direction whatsoever. Like in the whole "what path to take" situation.

On Sunday, Pastor Scott asked the question that I've asked myself so many times: What does God want from me?

I'll tell you what I think He wants from me:

*to be good
*to do good
*to act good
*to read my Bible
*to pray

None of those are inherently bad things, right? And if I do them, then I should automatically know the path I should take. But as Pastor Scott pointed out as he read from the book of Romans, being good and doing good and acting good don't mean much to God, especially when my heart is far from Him.

Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.
{romans 4: 3}

So teaching Sunday School, or working at the Rescue Mission, or holding my tongue when I have a really juicy story to tell won't win God's favor. Huh.

Then what?

Faith.

Faith, says Pastor Scott.

Faith, says Jennie Allen, author of chase (my current bible study.)

Faith, says Scripture.

For it is by race you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves...
{ephesians 2:8}

As Jennie Allen says in chase, "God simply asks us for our obedience and our trust." (pg. 73).

That's all?

And when I don't know which path to take?

Trust and faith.

And when I'm confused about which way to go?

Trust and faith.

And when I'm out on a limb and I need an answer or I'll fall on my face?

Trust and faith.

And when the thoughts are swirling around like a wind storm in my head, asking what should I do, which way should I go, which path should I take, how will I know?

Trust. And. Faith.

And without faith, it is impossible to please him, 
for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists
and that he rewards those who seek him.
{hebrews 11:6}

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