Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Summertime Sadness

This day is falling apart.

I have it planned out entirely, morning to night. I don't know exactly where we went wrong, but right about now I'm supposed to be doing something different than what I am, because what I am currently doing was supposed to have already been done.

And I'm still in my workout clothes from this morning. (This is not unusual.)

I told my kids that they could invite friends over for the afternoon, but that we had to get chores and laundry done first, and they have (begrudgingly) obliged. The main chore for today was pulling weeds, which is no fun for anybody. If I won a million dollars, I'd hire a full-time gardener. And a personal masseuse. Oh! And a personal chef. And I'd have fresh white roses in my house all the time. And I'd get my car detailed every week.

A housekeeper wouldn't be a bad idea. And I could use a professional organizer in the basement and garage.

I guess I need to win more than a million dollars.

But I digress.

The friends couldn't come over until 3:15. I have a 12:15 arrival and 3:15 departure for said friends on my pre-made schedule.

Falling. Apart.

I am a creature of habit, depending on a schedule, even one fraught with episodes and divergences, to get me through my day. I hear the naysayers out there, telling me that my kids shouldn't have to be on such a tight schedule during the summer, that "when we were kids, our days were spent outside playing and using our imaginations". I get it. I've seen all those "summertime when we were kids" montages on FaceBook, too, but I was a kid in the eighties and now I'm an adult in 2014 and Summer 2014 for my kids won't be the same as summertime circa 1984. I offer no apologies for this.

(My kids are in the background singing "Summertime Sadness" as their theme for this summer, especially because they don't get to sleep in.)

Besides. It's in my veins to be scheduled, even though sometimes I hate them. I do better and accomplish more when I have a schedule to go by. Plus, now my gardens are weeded, kitchen cleaned, and a load of laundry has been started (the finishing is where we get sideways), so I consider that an accomplishment. And now we can go relax and be with friends and not have these arduous chores hanging over our heads.

But not until 3:15.

I guess it's not in the fact that the schedule is falling apart, but in how we deal with it all. When it's all said and done, I want to see this day as a success and not a failure, but that doesn't only include the chores I got done. It includes having a playful approach with my kids, and not coming down on them too hard when things aren't going the way I planned. It also includes rolling with what the day brings, whether that may be adjusting for friends or rearranging because pulling weeks took waaaaaay too long (and one helper who shall remain nameless was conspicuously absent for a majority of the time, claiming she needed water and other such amenities that the outdoors simply couldn't provide the instant she needed them).

I want to have fun even in the not-so-fun parts, and see the joy through the sorrow, and be thankful for life itself, and not be anxious or depressed over things like upset schedules.

It's so not worth the angst.

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