Thursday, September 18, 2014

I AM

God.

What does that word bring to mind?

Sometimes love, mercy, grace. Sometimes wrath, punishment, anger.

Sometimes are you for real?

Sometimes I forget who God really is. The concept of God has become so familiar to me that I don't often stop and contemplate things like holiness and majesty.

My daughter is a strong-willed child. She doesn't often stop and consider how her actions and words will affect others; she is the cruise directer, and everyone else is just a passenger. She often directs and informs instead of asking, and then attempts to form her own mini-coup when she doesn't exactly get her way. It is at those times that I have to remind her that I am her mother, and I am her BOSS.

People like her don't like having a boss.

I am people like her.

I try to fit God into a (rather small) box--tiny, really--because his greatness is something that I forget on a regular basis. The conversations in my head swirl around ideas about his actual existence, his perseverance, his mercy, his grace, and--the biggest of them all--his right to tell me what to do. I think I have life pretty much figured out, and I know what's good for me. Except I don't, and we all know that, but that's what I pretend, anyway.

A peek inside my head:
Am I supposed to read this book and believe the words on the pages? Did Moses really part the Red Sea? Didn't Isaac have, like, issues after it became obvious his own father was going to sacrifice him? Are you really hearing my prayers? What if I don't want to pray? Do I have to obey you? Do you have a will for me? Do I have to obey you if I don't know what your will actually is? Do you really care how I spend my day, or if I decide to go to Kroger or not? How am I supposed to reconcile--well, the entire Bible--in my head? Do you really exist?

Oh, and could you heal my leg for me? I'd so appreciate that. Thanks, XOXO :)

And before I know it, I've formed my own mini-coup, because I don't think I need a boss to tell me what to do, but I sure do need a genie to make all my wishes come true.

I think we all know by now that God is no magic genie, and his truths aren't debatable.

When I am forming my own personal revolution against God, he will often bring Scripture to me that reminds me that my life is but a breath, and he is the creator of the universe.

Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined it's measurements--surely you know!
{job 38:1-5}

This morning I sat and stared at those words, because in all my presumption and brashness, I have no answer.

My daughter doesn't back down easily, and neither do I. We will have another go round about who's the boss soon, and I will have to remind her that I AM. The boss. Her boss.

Just like he gently reminds me.

I am the Alpha and the Omega, 
says the Lord God, 
who is and who was and who is to come, 
the Almighty.
{revelation 1:8}

No comments:

Post a Comment