Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I Did--I Called My Daughter A Butthole

I called my daughter a butthole last night.

A fool gives full vent to her spirit, 
but a wise woman quietly holds it back.
{proverbs 29:11}*

What mother calls her own flesh and blood a butthole?

Apparently, you're looking at her. Or you're reading about her, anyway. And if I see you at Kroger today, please. Look away.

I'm hideous.

I also asked her if she needed an enema. (I got that one from a friend. You know who you are.)

To help clear things out, I explained.

When someone resorts to name-calling, the victim usually either cries really hard or walks off in a huff. I think I may have intended the former. My child chose the latter.

Do you see a woman who is hasty is her words?
There is no more hope for a fool than for her.
{proverbs 29:20}*

I mumbled something else under my breath that I won't repeat, because it was just crass. Not that calling someone a butthole isn't crass, but two crass things in one night is just below the belt. Besides, I pride myself on not being a crude person.

A woman of wrath stirs up strife,
and one given to anger causes much transgression.
{proverbs 29:22}*

Lately some things have been bothering me.

Numero uno: our schedule. It's just busy right now. I know many, many other parents who would be waving from this sinking ship right along with me, but they are too busy to take the time to wave, so we all just hope that the ship won't sink before we've gotten everyone where they need to be.

It starts to take a toll on a family.

Dinners are hurried, homework is quick, and time together is nil. Unless you count time in the car, which sometimes you just have to.

Yesterday, my sweet baby boy threw a fit because I said I'd play any game with him--any game!--EXCEPT Monopoly, because I hate that game. No Monopoly, because no game should last for 8 years, which is exactly how long Monopoly would last if you let it. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat. Plus I hate all those houses and hotels and properties and monopolies and then deciding if you will mortgage a property, and eventually I hate the banker, too, and I just want roll three doubles so I can stay in jail.

I think things are getting to him, too.


I heard a talk from Pricilla Shirer recently about pruning your vine. She had seen a guy with a prize-winning tomato on TV, and apparently his secret to growing such a beauty was pruning. And he meant major pruning, like cutting back other healthy tomatoes in order to win the prize for that one. So she turned it into a life lesson: sometimes we have to prune even the things that look like good things in our lives in order to win the prize for the important stuff.

Like family.

Sometimes things stress me out and instead of asking for wisdom in the middle of a crisis, I blow up and yell at people and call them buttholes. It's not something I intend to do, it's just something that happens. So I may need to prune, to say no to some things that seem like really great things in our lives right now, but that are taking a toll on family time.

Lysa TerKeurst

Lysa TerKeurst has a new book out called The Best Yes, and through some of the devotions I've read on the Proverbs 31 website, I've learned a very valuable thing: that sometimes the word no is actually my best yes. 

I told my daughter I was sorry, by the way, for calling her...well, you know what I called her. And she forgave me. And then I forgave myself for calling her a name, because no one is perfect all of the time, no matter how hard we try. (Besides, when the shoe fits, one should wear it.)

People, organizations, schools, churches, work, friends, family--the asking for more will never stop.

We just have to choose our very own Best Yes.

*Did you notice that all three of these verses were from Proverbs 29? That's because all three of them were in my daily Scripture reading--TODAY--which I took as a reprimand, like God was saying "Hey--I've given you what you need to successfully deal. Just ask. Don't loose your cool."

Noted, God.

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