Friday, January 23, 2015

awesomeness and stuff

I opened up the trash drawer today to throw something away--I promise I didn't have ulterior motives, like checking to see if there were recyclables in there, because I don't do that--and lo and behold one of my people had thrown away an unopened yogurt container (a major offense), and I was all like muttering to myself about responsibility and Mother Earth and climate change is real and happening and IT TAKES 20 TO 100 YEARS FOR PLASTIC TO DECOMPOSE, PEOPLE.

I bet you didn't think to yourself "I'd like to wake up
this morning and see a picture of another person's trash"
yet here we are. Also, WHO ATE ALL THE M&MS?

Plus I was peeved over the fact that I paid a dollar for that yogurt. I may as well have taken a dollar bill and tossed it in the trash, which would have been preferable because then I would have gotten my hands dirty to get it out. Not that I wouldn't do that to save 20 to 100 years.

She came home yesterday and said "MOM" and then lowered her voice to this very conspiratorial tone, like we were being watched by the FSB, the KGB, the FBI and CSMS (that's her middle school, BTW). "Mom. There is like A WHOLE YEARS WORTH of newspaper in the art room and we use A TON of it while we are working with clay and then. We. THROW. IT. ALL. AWAY." Big gasp over this infraction by the non-Mother-Earth loving art teacher.

THIS ENDS TODAY.

I have been known to fish things out of the trash and wave the offending item in the faces of those standing around (when we have people over I tone it down, or else AWKWARD) and say "recycle, recycle" in a really shrill tone, which those who live with me count as a bonus.

I know. MY AWESOMENESS NEVER ENDS.

In other news, a female member of my household who will remain unnamed has recently announced a newly-discovered allergy.

To pomegranates.

Which I never buy.

To pomegranates??

Yes. To pomegranates.

She has assured me this is legit. (So are contraband weapons.) She even wrote it down in her Family and Consumer Science class under Things I Am Allergic To.

How can one be allergic to pomegranates, my friend texted me, and what are her symptoms?

EXACTLY.

**UPDATE ON THE POMEGRANATE ALLERGY SITUATION: I actually bought a pomegranate for this amazing recipe from Oh She Glows, which my two little people were all over. (I wrote that incorrectly. They were all over the pomegranate, not the salad, which I chose to fix with sauteed kale instead of the recommended raw. Still yum.)

Me: Um, I thought you were allergic to pomegranates?
Her (hand WITH pomegranate arils halfway to mouth): Oh, yeah. Huh.
Me. EXACTLY

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