Thursday, March 19, 2015

What?

This week started out with a bang. And what I mean by with a bang is 77 degrees and sunny, which is a welcome break from 37 degrees and cloudy with the chance of snow and/or rain. It's ending on a rather sour note, however, as today it is 45 degrees and cloudy.

Spring was in the air on Monday; Thursday it seems frustratingly out of reach.

So I went back to bed for 15 minutes, hoping that I'd regain some lost motivation and get rid of this "I'm so verra verra tired" feeling I've been carrying around with me.

Coffee doesn't hurt, either.*

*Related: Good news for coffee drinkers! Those who drink 3-5 cups a day have a 20% drop in risk of Alzheimer's disease. If you make it a life-long habit, that is. This is according to the 2014 Alzheimer Europe Annual Congress. No, I don't know what that is either. I saw it in Women's Health Magazine, who also promises to help you drop 2 sizes with the "Magic Carb Diet", to which I say poppycock with a side-eye glare, WHM. Also in this issue: Is Sugar Toxic? (Sidebar: WHM recommendation? Max of 6 teaspoons of sugar a day. 24 grams. Check your yogurt is all I'm gonna say on that.)

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When I don't have good coffee, a full 8-9 hours of sleep (yes, per night), and a day of sunshine to fortify my positivity, I want to do two things: 1) eat salty, the sweet, then salty again (i.e. any sort of junk food I can get my hands on; willpower is not my friend when I'm tired. Proof is the absence of peanuts in the snack drawer this morning.) 2) think negative thoughts about life.

I mean, I don't want to think negative thoughts about life, but when I'm tired, it seems like something inside my brain goes to Default Mode and out pop all these negative thoughts about everything from laundry (ugh why is there SO MUCH OF IT and by the way, the point of setting things (clothes/towels/toys/miscellaneous) on the steps is so you will take said items UP THE STEPS, not use the steps as your own personal closet in addition to the closet you already have in your room) to the people I love the most. (I'll not include any actual thoughts of said loved ones here; it wouldn't do anybody any good. It would be like sugar to everyone's morale. Not so sweet. Toxic.)

Thank Me for the glorious gift of my spirit...
As you bring me the sacrifice of thanksgiving, regardless of your feelings
My Spirit is able to work more freely within you. 
This produces more thankfulness and more freedom, 
until you are overflowing with gratitude.

I shower blessings on you daily, but sometimes you don't perceive them
When your mind is stuck on a negative focus, you see neither Me nor My gifts. 
In faith, thank Me for whatever is preoccupying your mind.

{jesus calling, sarah young--emphasis added}

I read a day ahead in my devotional, because I was warm and comfy on the couch and didn't want to get up right away, even though I was done reading for today, so I kept right on going to tomorrow. And as it turns out, tomorrows devotion is perfect for today's negative focus. Timing is everything, am I right?

I don't always remember to be thankful even in the good, but I try. (Thank you for hot water, warm bed, heat, food, water, etc, etc.--all the obvious ones.) But to be thankful even when the negative things come up? (Thank you for this mound of dirty laundry that never goes away plus thank you for this cloudy, sun-less day seems a little counter-intuitive.) But even in the midst of laundry and cloudy days, His spirit is still a glorious gift, and for that, I am thankful...I just don't always express how thankful I actually am.

So this morning, I decided to be a little more intentional about saying thank you, even for the ones I don't see as wonderful blessings.

A few of my actual thank yous, as said at 5:45 this morning...

Thank you for:
1. This hot tea.
2. Your Spirit (obviously, it said that in the book)
3. Um. This quiet time. At 5:45. In the morning. When I want to be sleeping.
4. My hair. (I had a little trouble getting started this morning.)
5. Sooooo...

Like I said, I had a little trouble getting started, but once I got the hang of it, I was on a roll.

6. Thank you for daily chores, because that means I have a house!
7, Thank you for varicose veins (this is a hard one to swallow, truth be told, because I hate them) because I have legs to carry me around, get me where I need to go, run, stand, jump, sit!
8. Thank you for this messy kitchen--evidence that we are well-fed! (Too well fed, as I reference the aforementioned peanuts, but that's another story.)
9. Thank you for these shoes in the floor, because my children's feet fill them!
10. Thank you for contacts, so I can see! (And read this devotion on being thankful...)

You get the point.

Anyways, being thankful even in the blahs of the day is hard, but it's doable. Nobody likes a Negative Nelly, and I don't intend on being one.

A neighbor who struggled with depressive tendencies told me that he was able to change his perspective (and get off all his meds) by looking around--and getting outside of his own head. "When I get to get up, drink coffee that I like, go to a great job, and drive home looking at these beautiful mountains, what do I have to be depressed over?" he asked me.

What indeed?

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