Thursday, April 2, 2015

Living Proof (I may not be as smart of a shopper as I thought)

There are a few things about life that cause me much consternation. Things like "what does healthy eating really mean" and "why is this house always such a mess" and "how can I keep reading about the crisis in the Middle East and still sleep at night" are all sources. And also at the top of my list this morning is "where the heck is the laptop" because when I went into the office to use said laptop it was missing. Which means someone has used it for their own good purposes and not put it back. After a quick search of the house (and also the garage because you just never know), I have declared the laptop missing.

How does an entire laptop go missing?* EXACTLY. 

I was also greeted with this mess, and was once again reminded of what a bad, bad idea it is to attempt to keep ferns inside over the winter, especially when you forget about them. 



*But I have a sneaking suspicion that this may involve a girl who will remain unnamed to protect her innocence until proven guilty but who lives in my home and who everybody and their mother says looks like me, especially because the quick house search for the missing laptop revealed two containers of icing and a jar of sprinkles hiding in her closet. The two containers of icing and jar of sprinkles that we had to make a special stop at 9PM at the grocery store for because she "had to have them" for Tech Ed today. Had to. So now two containers of said icing plus one jar of colorful sprinkles are hiding in an undisclosed location. Player. Gets. Played. What. 

A few weeks ago a friend and i planned a "walking and shopping date", which simply means that we walked around the mall and shopped. (Actually, we got to the mall before the stores opened and really walked the mall, which is an excellent source of entertainment if you like to people watch.) When Ulta finally opened the shiny glass door that are connected to its shiny glass walls (which someone had stuck what looked to be an orange slice to--I would liked to have been people watching when that whole deal went down, as I had lots of questions about the orange slice and its origin and also why it was still there), my friend and I charged the store, making a beeline for hair products and nail polish and eye makeup remover. (Sometimes it's the simple things.) 

When I started going to a new salon to get my hair cut, the girls tsk-tsked over my lack of concern over the shampoo I used in the shower. Meaning, I use (or used to use, that is, as I'm a reformed shampoo user) whatever I had a coupon for that was also on sale at the grocery store. (If Gloria from Modern Family uses Head and Shoulders, why shouldn't I?). My biggest complaint at the time was frizzy, big hair. (If you want to see really big hair, have the aforementioned laptop thief blow-dry her hair about halfway on a moderately dry day. Wow.) YOU CANNOT USE HEAD AND SHOULDERS was what I left with that day--along with new salon-recommended shampoo and conditioner and a somewhat lighter wallet. (I'm a salon baby now.) 

I know that you know that salon products can be pricey. (Hence the coupon+sale business from before.) And hair products from a beauty supply store like Ulta and Sephora can be super-expensive. (Leading me to wonder who makes this and ponder the genius of marketing.) Anyhow, when I saw the Living Proof (an allure magazine beauty award winner the box informed me, so who can deny its power?) box set including shampoo, conditioner AND styling cream (aptly named frizz--love it, don't love the price of it), I was taken. I grabbed the box even though it was Lent and I had sworn off all (most) frivolous spending. I justified my purchase as follows:

1) I need more shampoo (and H&S apparently is the devil of the shampoo world)
2) one bottle of shampoo is $29, yet this entire set is $29, so I must be getting a good deal

Therefore, I am not spending my money frivolously. 

Red flags all over the place, starting with "this box set is only $29". 

I learned a long time ago that one should not wash her hair every day, so now I go as long as possible (read: sometimes three days) and use A LOT of body sprays and dry shampoos, which doesn't always do the trick but is mostly good enough. It takes me a long time to got through one bottle of shampoo, especially now that my hair is shorter (and cuter, if I do say so myself). So the time came yesterday morning to finally open my new Living Proof hair products. I mean, confetti may as well have come bursting out of that box I was so excited. 


I did not see this coming. Or this. 


Where's the shampoo? EXACTLY. 


What's this? Tiny bottles way down at the bottom of this enormous box? Oh yes. Because as it happens, I have been bamboozled. Double-crossed. Hoodwinked

Because this is the size I bought. 


Just big enough to fit nicely in the palm of your hand. 

Have you ever thought "I'd really like to pay $10 for a trial size shampoo"? I have never thought that before, either, actually. And yesterday was April Fools day, too. Yep.

Player. Got. Played. 

What.

I hope this is some flipping jaw-dropping, Gloria-inspiring shampoo.

I'm taking next week off to spend time with my sweet family, one of whom had better cough up exactly one laptop computer. I'll probably see you again right here tomorrow, and then we will meet again in a week. Happy Easter!!




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