Tuesday, May 26, 2015


Yesterday my youngest entered the realm of "double-digits*", which we celebrated by having a cookout and playing the game that never ends. (Also known as Monopoly, which should be outlawed.) But how could I refuse his sweet face on his birthday, even though he gave me an out by saying "I know you probably don't want to play".  He knows his mother well.

*When none of the gifts are toys, you know they are growing up :(

I was informed over the weekend  that I "need to check my Insta account more often" because there are "a few things I need to learn" and I "need to read the comments" so I can "learn these things". First of all, if you've ever taken the time to read the comments on Instragram, you will immediately figure out that a) some people have way too much time on their hands and b) most people are not clever when it comes to commenting and therefore use profanity to fill in all the blanks. And some people have all blanks when it comes to their thoughts. So. I don't read the comments on Insta, and I don't check Insta very often because I find it just like Facebook: mostly annoying.(I know, I know, I still use it, but I can simultaneously find it annoying and be a user of said annoying app. It's possible.) However, this also means that I have no idea what #MCM means. Which means I can no longer communicate effectively with generations who speak hashtag. (Formerly known as the pound or number sign, am I right?)

Anyhow, I'm here to give a short summery on what I learned over the weekend. You're so very welcome.

#MCM= man-crush Monday
#WCW=woman-crush Wednesday

I'll insert here that this confuses me. Am I supposed to post pictures of someone that I have a man-crush or a woman-crush on? Moving forward.

#TBT=throwback Thursday (I already knew that one! Points for me.)
#F4F=follow for follow

There were also several abbrevs that I was clueless about, like TBH (don't laugh, I still use IMHO), and then words I have never in my life used or heard, like meta (still not positive what that means) and on fleek (which apparently means cool? Pretty? Looking good? All of the above?). If at any time you are ever confused about what somethings means, just head on over to urban dictionary (today's featured word is "whoopsie wave"), where you will get a very honest, and perhaps spicy, meaning of said phrase or word. They also use choice words when filling in the blanks. Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. (If you don't know this song reference, I don't know what else to tell you other than Taylor Swift is one of pop culture's biggest influences and maybe you should check Instagram for help.)

Last night at 8:15, my eyelids felt very heavy after all the celebration and hashtag-looking-up, but I had promised A that I would first play a game on the iPad, then play Just Dance (2015, what). What happens to a body when it doesn't want to move and you attempt a game like Just Dance is much flailing about of limbs. A video of last night's performance would have been comical. At 9:00, I shooed everybody upstairs and then dragged my own self up the steps to do two things, and two things only: wash my face and brush my teeth. The end. So when I looked at the clock and it was 10PM, I had no idea what happened. How does an hour go by and you have no idea? So I, being the good mother that I am, quickly kissed every forehead and blessed every head, one of which was still up and going strong. I was just leaving one room when the door opened and The Other came in.

And then.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIII caaaaaaaaaaaaan't faaaaaaaaaaall aasleeeeeeeeeeeep. IIIIIIIII neeeeeeeeeeedd yoooooooou."

I personally would have given it a few more minutes, but whatever. I went up and laid down with the can't-fall-asleeper, hoping my presence would offer calm and, ultimately, sleep. Sleep is what I'm going for at 10. Sleep.

And then.

"Mom? MOM! Moooooo-ooooooooom! Where are you? Mom?"

Apparently the "I can't fall asleep" disease is contagious. Enter The Second Child. "Come back to my room, too, kay mom?"

Um. not okay. Mom is tired. Mom wants to sleep. Sleep is what mom is looking forward to. Sleep is what mom wants. Mom loves her children. Mom also loves sleep. Mom loves her children better when mom has sleep. Preferably 8-9 hours of blessed, non-interrupted blissfulness. 

Child #1 was still not asleep when I left his room to go back to Child #2's (see how I used the number sign there? Meaning number, not hashtag? Welcome to 1984, where number sign meant number, and if you said hashtag people would have looked at you in awe and wondered if you, yes, YOU!,  were indeed Back to the Future, also. Hellooooo, McFlyyy-yyyyy--if you know that movie, I know you're laughing, too.)

Remember how cool we all thought this car was? Thanks google for preserving images from such a classic.

We've learned a few things today. My Daughter the Insta User would be proud.
1) hashtags and abbrevs are for kids and Insta
2) urban dictionary is spicy
3) sleep for everybody is good

Y'all have a fun Tuesday-that-feels-like-Monday. You're one day closer to the weekend.

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