Tuesday, June 16, 2015


I bought Jack a Rubik's Cube today. We were at Target because last time I was there, the cashier charged me for two purses when I only bought one, and when I got home I ended up with two lampshades but only paid for one. That cashier was verra, verra confused. In the end, I got a free lampshade (Target said not to worry 'bout it, and I said OKAY!) out of the whole deal. Twenty-four dollas and ninety-nine cents in my favor, holla.

Anyways, he bought the Rubik's Cube (who knew it was spelled with a K?) under the assumption that he would go down in the books as the Boy Genius Who Solved the Rubik's Cube in the Car on the Way Home From Target. Boy Wonder has been sorely dissapointed in said Rubik's Cube. (I warned him it was hard, and I've only ever gotten one (!) line of blue or white or whatever, so I don't know if he just didn't take me seriously, OR, maybe the more likely story is he thinks he's smarter than I, the non-Rubik's-Cube-solver. I hate the Rubik's Cube and love the internet for spoiling the fun and showing how to solve it.)

I walked up to his room and found him concentrating, furious with said "game". (Game. Ha and double ha.)

A little bit later I found him slumped in a what I'm figuring to be a Rubik's Cube coma.

Then he called in reinforcements.

"Did you think you'd solve it in a day?" I questioned. A funny look swept across his features as he looked at me. "Well, yeah."

Oh. Duh.

Yesterday, we got back from Baltimore, the city of "good Lord, it issssss HOT here". I got to see my baby sister (!!) while the boys went to the O's/Yankees game (Yankees. Duh.). It was like 92 degrees and we glistened just going from the restaurant to the mall. (That's all we did. Seriously.) I can't imagine how the boys felt.

It's O's versus Yanks--sorry Uncle Nate :)

I made a new friend in Baltimore. Saturday night we took a boat tour of the inner harbor. Did you know that even boat tours have captains? I did not. This particular captain (Jason) was wearing his white captain's uniform with this long-sleeve dri-fit deal underneath, which I could not even imagine, and the only thing we could think is that Jason had too many arm tattoos and that the boat tour people must assume that patrons who choose the habor cruise want a captain sans arm tattoos, and therefore they must be covered. Must! How did I know Jason had sleeves? 'Cause you could see right through the white. Whatever works.

Back to my friend. She sat down next to me, but then I moved because one Jonathan Richardson could not make up his mind as to where on the boat we should sit (inside? outside? a/c? flames of hell? how to choose?), and in the meantime another habitue of boat tours sat in my spot. Friend immediately tried to make conversation. She figured the weather was the best place to start, but girlfriend wasn't so interested in a chatfest and left to go find her family. We discovered where we were was actually the best place to be (!) so I ended up in my original spot. Beside Friend.

Friend is originally from Baltimore. Her mom still lives there, and so now Friend comes back--all the way from Texas!--to visit Mom and see the O's play (her fave, although she'll admit she's become a Rangers fan). For Sunday's game she was sitting behind the Yankee's dugout, of all places to be! But she thought best to wear an orange tank-top (can't take that orange blood out of the girl, can you?) with a baseball hat, what with the weather and all. She was visiting Baltimore this particular weekend for a conference, but planned on giving Baltimore a good visit, along with Mom. She loved the TV show Homicide (don't make 'em like they used to, all trash on TV these days) which was filmed in Baltimore. And what do you know, the building was on our tour.  Oh, and her husband just won a new Kindle, but, she wanted to know, did it connect to the internet? Because she just had to throw one away because it's battery didn't hold a charge and besides that, it didn't connect to the internet. We talked about said new Kindle for like five minutes.

Friend was chatty.

After the boat ride, I decided, quite unexpectedly, that it would be a good time to be in a colossally bad mood and also be hateful for a little bit. Sometimes that happens. I led the troops across the inner harbor to Phillips, because I like seafood and everyone else can just DEAL.

"I would not like to sit outside," Jon requested. A simple request. Who wants to sit outside in the 92 degree heat after a non-breezy, scorching boat ride? The answer is no one.

But obviously, this was the wrong thing for him to say. Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Did I want to sit outside? No. WE WERE IN AGREEMENT.

I, however, am good at finding Things To Be Frustrated About When There Is Absolutely Nothing To Be Frustrated About. (insert small bow)

I must have given him one of those what-are-you-even-talking-about-are-you-a-moron looks because he was all like "what?" and then I deeply sighed over this grievous infraction.  What infraction? Yes. Exactly.

"I just don't know why you tell me to choose and then get frustrated when I do choose, I mean, if you don't want me to choose then just do it yourself."

Or something along those lines.

He may have been confused. He may have been surprised. But he was definitely frustrated. Which was, obviously. Un. Acceptable.

So we sat in non-companionable silence in Phillips, who, by the way, was having trouble with their air conditioning in the front part of their restaurant. "We can seat you right away!" said the poor hostess with beads of sweat shining on her cute little nose. "Or you can wait for AN HOUR AND A HALF FOR THE AIR CONDITIONING PART OF OUR RESTAURANT."

A no-brainer, of course.

We were seated. Right away. In the 85 degree bar.

I ordered the catch of the day but was too hot to eat (and then it froze in the hotel mini-fridge, so the leftovers weren't even good. Fail.) so I waved my menu across my hot face and glared at all the happy people and wondered what kind of fresh hell is this.

Jon is a lot nicer than lots of guys. I think he also may have been very confused about what exactly had just happened, but in any event, he side-hugged me (as clearly all front hugs were OFF LIMITS) when we got back to the hotel and said he didn't want to be mad at each other.

It was a good rest of the night. (A/C helped clear my head.) Except that the hotel's indoor pool that the kids wanted to swim in was also hot and humid and we wondered if we would ever the whole entire trip stop sweating.

It's going on 9:00 on a beautiful summer night, and as I look around, there really isn't much to be bothered about at all. (Obviously, the whole "I'm enraged over having choices" episode was a fluke.)

A) Jack will definitely not solve the Rubik's Cube tonight. But it's fun and cool that he's trying. Persistence pays off.

B) Friend was chatty but it's interesting to learn things about new people, and you can, if you give them the chance.

C) It was so flipping cold over the winter that I have made a pact with myself to not complain about the summertime heat. As for Jason, he'll just have to deal with dri-fit til he's not a captain anymore.

D) Phillips is good. It's better when you are willing to have a good time with your family and not give indignant scowls to the happy people.

E) Forgiving, crazy love is the best. Hold on to that stuff. It's precious.

Ya'll have a beautifulcrazywonderful summertime night.

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